Remember the whole EA wanting to buy Take-Two? Well that has changed. Sarcastic Gamer is reporting that EA has bought Baskin Robbins with the money it was proposing for Take-Two. Sarcastic Gamer caught up with EA’s Property Acquisitions Lead, Vince Guerrero, and he explained Electronic Arts’ plan for Baskin Robbins.

“One of the first things we noticed was that Baskin Robbins was spreading itself a little too thin with all of those 31 flavors,” said Guerrero. “It’s way too confusing to consumers to have so many choices, so we’re eliminating 30 of them. We’re calling the lone, easy-to-choose flavor, EA-nilla.”

He went on to detail the staff changes that are to be expected under EA ownership.

“With that streamlining of the flavor array, comes a lower demand for scoopers, so we’re letting them all go, and replacing them with our game writers who, let’s face it, really don’t do much for our titles. Consumers can now expect much faster delivery of their ice cream than was previously thought possible. We’ll be churning out a new scoop constantly and with our proven standardization process, every single scoop will be exactly like the one that came before it, in every way.”

A big thanks goes to Sarcastic Gamer for pointing out this news!

If you haven't figured it out already, this satire news based on EA wanting to acquire Rockstar's parent, Take-Two.